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A New Austin Burlesque Show for Book Lovers and Art Enthusiasts

Once upon a time (2013-2014) I was a cast reader, later turned producer, of Naked Girls Reading in Austin. It was a local branch of a national show, now called the Bare Book Club, created by Miss Exotic World 2005, Michelle L’amour. The Austin show eventually turned into Stripped Storytelling and was continued by some wonderful burlesque friends for a while after I left.

This production was so special. If you went to any of them, you know. I LOVED this show because I got to bring stories and authors that were important to me to my audience. And when I produced, I got to create a space for other performers I loved to do the same.

Naked Girls Reading Austin, Austin theatre, The Galactic Salon: Prologue, Austin Burlesque, Austin Literary Events, Austin Writers, Austin Poetry, Austin Dance, Kick Butt Coffee, Austin Entertainment

But it was a hard show to do in Texas. Because of TABC rules, we couldn’t do this show in any of our regular burlesque venues. Why? Because Naked really meant NAKED. No pasties or g-strings. We were reading IN THE NUDE. Exactly like the show name says.

A nude show and alcohol sales can’t go together, per the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission. So none of our performance venues that have bars could host our show. Venues that had a bar in a separate space, or community theatres were harder to book and harder on our budget.

We were lucky to land a long-term space at the Salvage Vanguard Theatre when they had the building on Manor Rd. After that Stripped Storytelling had a few shows at Sky Candy Aerial Arts, and I seem to remember that they had one in a local comic book store? Don’t quote me on that.

Since the last show was at the end of 2019, I’m sure the pandemic was a big factor in the show going dark, and one of the producers has moved away since then too. So it’s unclear if this show will come back at some point.

Facebook has been teasing me for years with NGR memories! And I have been trying to reconcile this feeling of unfinished business I have surrounding it. I’ve had a show idea brewing for a while that captures some of what I loved about NGR (the book lovers, the body positivity, the performance art of it all), but moving it more into the burlesque space, and including local writers, poets, artists, and musicians in the mix.

The Galactic Salon: Prologue, Austin Burlesque, Austin Literary Events, Austin Writers, Austin Poetry, Austin Dance, Kick Butt Coffee, Austin Entertainment

And so… The Galactic Salon is going to keep the spirit of Naked Girls Reading alive. It’s not completely what NGR was, but it will fill the void that was left when the show stopped, at least for me.

The Prologue is Thursday, August 10th at Kick Butt Coffee. Doors open at 7:30pm. Browse the tables of books, photo prints, and more by the performers. Visit the bar for both coffee shop mainstays and craft cocktails. Mingle and find your seats. Show starts at 8:30pm. 18+ only.
There will be burlesque based on books, art, politics, and poetry and some of the performers are doing readings that complement their acts. Performances by Bobby Barnaby, Kitty Von Quim, Folly Parton, Jojo Jezebel, Hibiscus Bloom, Stormy September, Ruby Lamb, and Gemmi Galactic.

There will be music!!! Cigarettes et Queue, members of of Mr. Lewis and the Funeral 5, are creating a jazzy new arrangement just for this show to get us in that underground artist nightclub mood.
Featured local writer and artist, Ricardo Acevedo, reading from his new book and selling prints.

There will be a somewhat unclothed (pasties and g-strings) reading by some of the original Austin NGR cast as well!

I really hope you come and see what we’ve been working on. It’s going to be a treat.

Reserve your seats for The Galactic Salon: Prologue before presales close!

How to Apply to Burlesque Festivals

With so many wonder Burlesque festivals happening all around the world, and at every time of year, it’s ALWAYS festival season. Here are some not so serious tips on applying.

Step 1) Select your best act.
No, not that one. That bra doesn’t fit anymore and I’m not sure I can replace, re-fringe, and re-rhinestone it before the submission deadline. What about this one? Not upbeat enough. That one? Not… BIG enough. Why are all my acts crap?

Step 2) Get a good video.
The only video I have of this act is from the very first time I performed it two years ago. Why don’t I have a video of it from ANY other show it was in? Can I get it on stage before the deadline? No? Let’s clean the living room and pray to Dixie it makes a good enough “stage.”

Step 3) Fill out the application.
Shit, where is the updated version of my bio? I have too much junk on my computer.

Step 4) Pay the application fee.
I will just eat ramen this week.

Step 5) Wait for the email.
Refresh. When did I start biting my nails again? Refresh. F*ck. Refresh.

Step 6) Make your Social Media announcement.
OMG I GOT IN!!!!! / I got my rejection email 🙁 Excuse me while I take a break from Facebook for a few days to eat my feelings. Send tacos.

Step 7) Repeat.
OoOoOoh! Look at that new shiny festival over there! I HAVE to apply!

***

Both a highlight and a curse of any burlesque performer’s life are the festivals. It seems like every city has one, or three, and performers from all over the world are applying for those coveted 40-ish spots.

Getting accepted means the chance to perform for a new audience and expand your fanbase, and impressing and connecting with performers and producers from other cities and expanding your bookings. Hopefully. And then there are the titles. Winning a title instantly gets you a contract with Swarovski, Southwest Airlines, and Dom Perignon and you are off to live the glamourous showbiz life! *Slow blink, blank stare* Wait, is that not how this works?

Festival spots and titles are a symbol of the hard work we put into our art. Blood, sweat, tears, and a trail of rejection emails tend to come first, though, and still after. Does the hard work stop if you win a title? No. Does the hard work stop if you DON’T win a title or if you get a rejection letter? Please don’t let it. Hundreds of stunning performers get refused from each festival. You’re in good company.

Festivals are great and have their benefits, but they are not more important than the work you do at home. Your local scene, your troupe, and your loyal audience are noble places to set your focus. Now, go fix that bra so it’s ready for the next submission round.

-Gemmi Galactic
Co-Producer, Texas Burlesque Festival

Burlesque

 

I began pursuing Burlesque in 2010.  I was attracted to the glamour, but really fell in love with concept and character pieces.  I try to give all of my acts an extra push of something unexpected along with humor and playfulness.

Here’s a basic catalog of all my Burlesque acts available for booking. Contact me here for performance rates.

 

The Widow: A Femme Fatale in a classic gown/ corset/ panel skirt. This black widow cries, laughs, and strips to Metallica’s For Whom the Bell Tolls while attending the funeral of her latest husband.

 

Grapevine: A juicy balloon-popping routine. Performed to Marvin Gaye’s version of “I Heard it Through the Grapevine.” These balloons have popped many, many times, including at the 2012 Spanksgiving Burlesque Festival.

 

Mario Flower: The Super Mario Bros. Piranha Plant! With fireballs! My largest and most elaborate costume yet, set to the London Philharmonic Orchestra’s Mario Theme, and Pat Benatar’s “Hit Me With Your Best Shot.”

 

In Your Room: This act celebrates eroticism, fetish, and Depeche Mode.

 

The Big Lebowski: A tribute to the Dude. Complete with a bathrobe, bowling ball, bowling pin fans, the ringer suitcase, and a rug that ties the whole act together.  Performed to Kenny Rogers’ “I Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In).” This act has bowled over audiences on many stages across Austin and Dallas, the 2013 Texas Burlesque Festival, and the 2012 San Antonio Burlesque Festival.

 

Tribble Trouble: An outrageously silly ode to Star Trek. This tribble just can’t stop from popping! Set to a background of STOS sound clips and Britney Spear’s “Oops, I Did it Again!” This new act has been spotted at the 2016 Texas Burlesque Festival and 2016 Philadelphia Burlesque Festival.

 

Artemis, the Huntress: A dramatic account of the Greek Goddess and her prey.  Performed to Florence and the Machine’s “Breath of Life.” This new a new act and has only been seen by one audience!

 

Jailbird Gemmi: A silly, high-energy shimmying, shaking, fury of fringe! Performed to Mike Patton’s version of the Italian “Che Notte!” This jailbird broke out in 2013 and has been performed many times since, including the 2013 Spanksgiving Burlesque Festival.

 

Christmas Present: A holiday act in wrapped in a big bow! Presents upon presents. To Last Christmas by WHAM!

 

Ligeia: A tribute to the short story by Edgar Allan Poe. Creepy and seductive, from beyond the grave.  Performed to Murder By Death’s “Comin’ Home.” Ligeia has haunted many shows in Austin.

 

Poison Ivy: A cosplay love story with lite bondage.  Performed to Fiona Apple’s “Criminal.” Poison Ivy has been tied up so many times, including San Japan 2013 and Realms Con 2014.

 

Golden Snitch: Harry Potter’s Golden Snitch comes alive in a gold gown and isis wings. Flies to the tune of “Crave You” by Flight Facilities. Recently debuted. Photos coming soon!

 

Grumpy Bear Go-Go: The grumpiest Care Bear gives in to the rhythm. Performed to a mix of Paint it Black by The Rolling Stones and Feel it Still by Portugal the Man.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Productions

A lot of time and work goes on behind the scenes for one great event, well-attended event.

My main productions-

Head Over Heels Burlesque- 2011-2012
Frisky Business Burlesque- 2012- Current
Naked Girls Reading- 2013-2014
Geekgasm Revue- 2015-2022
Texas Burlesque Festival- 2022-Current
The Galactic Salon- 2023- Current

Upcoming Productions-

Austin Burlesque, The Galactic Salon: Prologue, Kick Butt Coffee

Classes & Coaching

Since I started burlesque by studying under Coco Lectric at the Austin Academy of Burlesque, it made me happy to begin teaching there in 2018.

Check out my Events page for all upcoming classes.

I currently offer these classes:

Virtual Lecture Workshops-

Tease the Write Way- Writing promo bios, act intros, and taglines. Single Session, 1 hour- $13

Marvelous Nerdlesque Concepts- Breaking down what makes a great and juicy love letter to fandom for the burlesque stage. Single Session, 1 hour- $13

Foundational BUSINESS of Show- Professionalism gets you FAR in burlesque! This class is PACKED with information. Learn how to break into the scene, apply to shows, build a local and online presence, budget and build an act that profits, organize your promo materials, and track your income and tax deductions. And get familiar with some of the language, expectations, history, and etiquette of the biz. Single Session, 2 hours- $25

Studio Movement Class- (Coming back to a studio as a once-a-month workshop SOON!)

Slow Burn- Intentional and sensual movement from struts to floorwork, and doing scary things like holding space AND making eye contact! This class was renamed How To Be a Cat by former AAB students. Single Session, 1 hour- $25

Private Coaching Sessions- virtual or in person! $75 per hour, or $40 per half hour

Email me to book classes!

Drag

 

Dr. B. Hindstein, the nuts for butts Professor of Booty Appreciation, is the drag king brain child of Gemmi Galactic. Inspired by a mix of Jerry Lewis’s physical comedy, the artist’s own experience as a dorky adolescent, and sleazy ladies’ man raunch, Doc is a big ego in an awkward frame. This Geek with Gusto has been stealing hearts from stages across Texas since 2014 with both Frisky Business Burlesque AND the Boiz of Austin.

 

Dr. B. Hindstein’s acts are available for booking. Contact me here for performance rates.

 

Lumber Sexual: Paul Bunyan has nothing on Doc! And after a long day of manly work, he just wants to eat…

 

Safari: Doc sets his on the eyes on beauty of the African wildlife.  What is he tracking?  What could possibly go wrong?

 

Han Solo: Because, obviously.

 

Strip-o-gram: Doc lip-syncs “Happy Birthday” by New Kids on the Block while stripping out of a giant present box.

 

Harry Potter: Doc’s ridiculously cocky/dorky take on The Boy Who Lived to The Killers “The Man.” This act was recently debuted. Photos coming soon!